just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
