I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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