you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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