PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
