Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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