I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
