I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You can't just leave with hair like that
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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