i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
