We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
