And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
