tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
