We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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