It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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