I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize