this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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