batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
