Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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