They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need to calm my uterus...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
