i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
