For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
