OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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