her vagine was all disorganized.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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