IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
