So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish my penis had a tongue
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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