where does the pee come out of this thing
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
