Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize