im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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