i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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