We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
