i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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