i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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