i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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