I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
