Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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