my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
