somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
