Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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