Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
