There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
