you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
