I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
