and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
