My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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