i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
