is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
