ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
