two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish I only lived at night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
