69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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