there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
