I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
