I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize