Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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