i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
