You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
