What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
