we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
