it wasn't lemon gatorade
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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