he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
